It All Comes Down To This

I admit it.  I like rules.  I like the boundaries they set and the predictability they establish.  When something goes wrong or a situation becomes chaotic, my natural tendency would be to create a rule (or several!) to bring back sanity and control. 
When I think long and hard about that- the way I am naturally wired and my general bent toward rules, I realize that it would be really easy for me to become a modern-day Pharisee.  And you know what Jesus thought about the Pharisees?  Let's just say it wasn't pretty.
I try to keep that in mind as a Mom.  It would be SO easy to keep adding rules to what our kids can or can not do, what they are and aren't allowed to say, how they can and can not behave.  But I have discovered that it really all comes down to something very simple.  And we decided years ago that this would be the focus of what we teach them while they are under our roof. 

Love God.  Love People.  (Mark 12:30-31)

That's it.  It's so simple we almost can't accept that that's all that really matters.  But the truth is that everything I want my kids to know in life comes down to that.  Love God.  Love People.

One way we have tried to drive this home with our kids is to refer to it often, and to Biblically define what Love means.  Since the Bible actually gives us lots of verses about love, this hasn't been too difficult.  As a family, we have all memorized 1 Cor 13:4-7.  (The kids learned it in song on a CD from Kingdom Kidz)  Here is what it says:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ⁸ Love never fails.

So, here are some scenarios most families deal with on a regular basis and how we can teach our kids to Love God and Love People rather than just correcting behavior...

~Eboy wins a Wii game and proceeds to celebrate and chant that he is the winner.  Egirl gets her feelings hurt and doesn't want to play anymore because she lost.  Response: The Bible says to Love People in Mark 12, and 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love does not boast.  Do you know what boasting means?  (proceed to explain that boasting is a way of building ourselves up in a way that makes others feel bad and then facilitate apology/forgiveness)

~Egirl starts to eat her food before we have prayed as a family.  Response: The Bible says in Mark 12 to Love God.  One of the ways our family shows God that we love Him is to talk to Him and thank Him for things He has done for us.  A regular time we can do this as a family is before meals.  (proceed to explain how saying Thank You when someone has given you something is a way to show them love)

~Egirl gets frustrated with the way her brother is playing babies with her and throws her baby and stomps out of the room.  Response: The Bible says to Love People in Mark 12, and 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is not easily angered.  Do you know what angered means?  (proceed to explain that being easily angered is when we become mad about things that we need to learn to stay calm and talk about. Then facilitate apology/forgiveness)

~Eboy talks with his mouth full at dinner.  Response: The Bible says to Love People in Mark 12, and 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is not rude.  Do you know what rude means?  (proceed to explain that being rude is a way of acting that puts what you want [to talk] over and above what the other person may want [to not have to see gross, chewed up food in your mouth], and it makes people feel uncomfortable or sad.  Then facilitate apology/forgiveness)

Do you see where I am going with this?  Pretty much every teaching moment I deal with as a Mom  can somehow be molded into a lesson of Loving God and Loving People.  I am not discounting that there are other great scriptures out there to teach our kids.  We use a BUNCH with ours in an effort to store up a moral warehouse of values they can pull from as they grow and make their own decisions.  (Some favorites are the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, lots of Proverbs, just about any parable Jesus told, etc).  What I am saying is that this is a great place to start.  And, really, as Christ followers, it is the most important thing we can teach our kids.  Jesus Himself said that these are the two greatest commandments in all of scripture. 
Love God.  Love People.  That's what it all comes down to.